Parodies of College Football Fight Songs ----------------------------------------- AUBURN to the tune of the Battle Hymn of the Republic, which they play after every touchdown: You may think that you're world beaters But your team's a bunch of dirty cheaters Your state is full of drunk wife-beaters **** you, you cheating ****s UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA making fun of their Rammer Jammer cheer: Hey Bama Hey Bama Hey Bama We just beat the hell out of you Whammer Yammer Drunken Stammer Go to hell Alabama UNIVERSITY OF ARIZONA 1. Fall Down, Arizona (to tune of Bear down, Arizona): Fall down, Arizona, Fall down, black and blue. Fall down, Arizona, You know damn well you're through. So it's Trip! Fall! Drop that ball! Arizona, you are screwed! 2. Here comes the band The U of A band With endless repetition. The shows a bore We've seen it before It's become a damned tradition! So here comes the band And, gee, but it's bland To that bear down melody (repeat 3x in rapid succession). So sneer at Arizona BEER for Arizona! The band that's a bore to see! ARIZONA STATE UNIVERSITY Eat ****, you ***-****ing ***s Rip off your heads and **** down your necks. Rape all your women, **** 'em like rabbits You won't join in 'cause you're all flaming ******s. Hey, all you Sun Devil queers, Here's our nice reply You better shove that rose right up your ***, 'Cause you're gonna die. BOSTON COLLEGE For Boston ---------- For Boston, For Boston, The Outhouse on the hill. For Boston, For Boston, They **** and always will. So, here's to the outhouse on the hill, BC ****S AND ALWAYS WILL! UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA AT BERKELEY 1. The Dirty Golden Bear (to the tune of "The Sturdy Golden Bear") (verse 1) The Dirty Golden Bear Is losing all his hair His teeth are out He's got the gout He knows not what it's all about His eyes are made of glass He's losing all his class So TAKE the Dirty Golden Bear and shove him up your ***! (verse 2) The Dirty Golden Bear Has dirty pubic hair His dick is dead It's got no head He cannot get it up in bed He tries to use his hand But cannot find his gland So YOU can find him jerking off the UC Berkeley Band! CAL POLY: Ride Me, You Mustang! Ride me, you Mustang Kick your boots off, **** me please Ride me, you mustang I'm down on my hands and my knees Oh! Oh! Oh! Ride me, you Mustang Sing a tune and do me now Ride me and make me lusty Plow! Plow! Plow! This is the not-so-nasty-but-not-quite-our-alma mater-version: I Hurl Green and Gold ===================== I hurl Green and Gold The tequila was quite old The salt and the lime Came spewing up with mold I hurl Green and Gold My world is in a whirl So for California Polytechnic, Hurl! Hurl! Hurl! UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA AT DAVIS 1. (To Sons of California) We're dirty sons of bitches, We're rotten to the core. We could not get a piece of ***, not even from a *****. We flog our rods, We dick our mitts, We even pud our gloves. For we're the band from Davis State, That only an Aggie could love. >From the archives of the Marching Lumberjack Band. UCLA 1. Sons of Berkeley (UCLA) We are the awesome Bruins, The awesome bruin band. We got our awesome uniforms >From awesome Disneyland. Our marching is, like, boring. Our playing is, like, bland. You cannot hear, from far or near, The awesome Bruin band... 2. (to Sons of Westwood) High up in the hills of Westwood Sprawled offensive to the eye Lies a Cal extension campus Known as Westwood High (high high high) Home of all the Bruin bearcubs UGLY is its name The student body's vile The football team's a pile and the campus is a shame! U (clap clap clap) G (clap clap clap) L (clap clap clap) Y (clap clap clap) U G L Y Eat My Shorts! Bruins are a bunch of ******s Songgirls are a bunch of sluts When they spread their legs so wide they look like garbage trucks (good food!) When we all go up to Westwood Bruins are so gay Each bruin in the band his unit in his hand will whack the night away! In the locker room at halftime Bruins give each other head They congratulate the coach by taking him to bed When the bruins break the huddle Pants will come back up Each bruin on the squad will surely shoot his wad right in mouth! UNIVERSITY OF COLORADO 1. Colorado: Glory, Glory Coloradder Lick my crack and drink my bladder (forget the rest) 2. You're not going to a bowl game You're not going to a bowl game You're not going to a bowl game Watch NU on TV CLEMSON UNIVERSITY 1. To the tune of "The Tiger Rag"Rag: Hold the tiger Choke the chicken Shock the monkey Rock the lobster Beat the bishop Feed the kitten Make the bull moose roar... Irritate the badger Change the transmission fluid J-E-R-K-O-F---F! CORNELL UNIVERSITY (alma mater) Far above Cayughoa's (sp) waters There's an awful smell Some say it's Cayughoa's waters We say it's Cornell Sons of bitches, Sons of bastards 40,000 strong 40,000 horse's ***es Call themselves Cornell HARVARD UNIVERSITY 1. H - A - ahr H - A - ahr H - A - ahr with a V. V - A - ahr V - A - ahr V - A - ahr with a D Hahvahd. Hahvahd men are really tough. They know how to knit and stuff! Knit one, purl two. Hahvahd. YOO-HOO! FLORIDA STATE when they do their tomahawk chop: **** the crimi-noles They **** ani-moles **** the crimi-noles They **** geni-toles UNIVERSITY OF GEORGIA 1. To the tune of The University of Georgia Fight Song: Don't send my boy to M.I.T. The dying mother said. Don't send my boy to Emory I'd rather see him dead. But send my boy to Georgia Tech 'Tis better than Cornell. But as for University of Georgia: I'd RATHER SEE HIM IN HELL! CHORUS: To hell, to hell to hell with Georgia, To hell, to hell to hell with Georgia, To hell, to hell to hell with Georgia, The Cesspool of the South! Mine eyes have seen the glory of the stomping of the dogs, We will teach those poor darn farmboys they should stick to slopping hogs, When the Jackets are triumphant we will raise a mighty cheer, "We'll do the same next year!" On the field between the hedges there arose a mighty stench, In the dog machine the engineers will throw a monkey wrench, When the Jackets are triumphant we will raise a mighty yell, "Them dogs can go to hell!" Mine eyes have seen the glory of the NCAA, They're investigating Georgia players to see how much their paid, After counting all the cars, and the loans alumni made, They outpaid the NBA (*) * Alternative lyric: NC State 2. the Clemson version of To Hell with Georgia: Nothing ****s worse than to be up in NC To be up in NC To be up in NC Nothing ****s worse than to be up in NC Unless you're down in Georgia Mine eyes have seen the rednecks and their common law affairs Mine eyes have seen them get so drunk they fall right down the stairs I see those toothless bastards and I can't help but yell Oh God what is that smell? To hell, to hell, to hell with Georgia To hell, to hell, to hell with Georgia To hell, to hell, to hell with Georgia The cesspool of the South I couldn't give a hell about a worthless vict'ry bell I couldn't give a damn about the Red Corp Marching Band If I see Uga's balls again up on the Jumbo Tron My patience will be gone To hell, to hell, to hell with Georgia To hell, to hell, to hell with Georgia To hell, to hell, to hell with Georgia The cesspool of the South The next time you're down in Georgia take a careful look around You can always tell a bulldog fan when he makes that stupid sound In case you're wondering where that bark originated from They're emulating mom To hell, to hell, to hell with Georgia To hell, to hell, to hell with Georgia To hell, to hell, to hell with Georgia The cesspool of the South GEORGIA TECH To the tune of Ramblin' Wreck (Georgia Tech's fightsong): She's a tweedly **** from Agner Scott She'll **** for fifty cents She'll put her *** upon the grass Her pants upon the fence She'll lick your sweaty nut sack She'll suck your slimy **** But get of her, you son of a bitch If you're from Georgia Tech UNIVERSITY OF IOWA To the tune of The Battle Hymn of the Republic: 1. (curtesy of Northwestern) Mine eyes have seen the glory of the shucking of the corn They have outlawed education where the black and gold are worn And when the game is over Hawkeye fans will start to mourn The Cats are marching on. Although your homes are mobile your team is not on the go We'll be out in Pasadena while you're sitting home in snow You'll be nodding off at halftime while your band does park and blow The Cats are marching on. Sorry, sorry little Hawkeyes When, if ever will you realize There's more to life than watching corn rise The Cats are marching on. 2. (curtesy of Jeff Guelzow) Mine eyes have seen the glory of the shucking of the corn They have outlawed education where the black and gold are worn And when the game is over Hawkeye fans will start to mourn Oh Bucky keeps marching on. Although your homes are mobile your team is not on the go We'll be out in Pasadena while you're sitting home in snow You'll be nodding off at halftime while your band does park and blow Yeah Bucky keeps marching on. Sorry, sorry little Hawkeyes when, if ever will you realize There's more to life than watching all that corn rise And when the season's over then Hayden Frye decries That Bucky keeps marching on. UNIVERSITY OF INDIANA 1. Marching Hundred, your ranks have swelled so That you're looking quite like Purdue Oh, Indiana, you big banana The Wildcat Band will just chew up you 2. Oh Indiana, you big banana, Oh Indiana, to hell with you. We will fight for our cream and coffee And the Honor of Old Purdue! At the altar, you always falter, And in battle, you're black and blue! Oh Indiana, Oh Indiana, Oh Indiana, TO HELL WITH YOU!!! ..... "Screw I.U.!" LEHIGH UNIVERSITY GOBLET: Get out that old silver goblet With Lehigh Upon it and we'll Open up another keg of beer(MORE BEER!) For we all came to college, but we didn't come for knowledge So we'll raise hell while we're here! ALTERNATE LYRICS: Get out those old pink panties That used to be your aunties With the big brass buttons on the side With the hole in the middle where your uncle used to fiddle In the good old summertime. (To the tune of LEHIGH VICTORY) *******, we want ******* So we can get it up tonight Give us a ****ing ******* Wrap your lips 'round tight, BITCH! *******, we want a ******* So we can fill your hole tonight ****, ****, **** together ****, ****, **** forever On to ecstacy. UNIVERSITY OF KANSAS 1. Sung to the KU alma mater: Across the stagnant water Beneath the sky so blue Lies an abandoned outhouse That they call KU Alma Mater Flush the water Let the pipes run true 20000 *****S and ******S Down at old KU Rock Chalk chickenhawk **** KU (repeat twice) 2. To the tune of the KU fight song I'm a gay gay gay-gay gayhawk and I don't like girls at all (repeat) I love to see the boys with their tight little jeans I love to stick my dick between their cheeks when I cream caus I'm a gay gay gay gay gayhawk and I don't like girls at all!!!! UNIVERSITY OF MASSACHUSETTS **** off and die Massachusetts Eat **** and die cheesy scum. **** off and die Massachusetts Go take it up the bum. Out in the middle of no where With nothing but sheep to ***** **** off and die Massachusetts 'Cause you couldn't get in BU. (alternate, "'Cause we are better than you!") UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN 1. Hail to the Mother ****ers, Hail to the Big **** ****ers, Hail Hail to Michigan the cesspoll of the West, Hail to the Fornicators, Hail to the Masterbaters Hail Hail to Michigan the cesspoll of the West, 2. Here is the "U of M lowly Trite Song" What is a "Victors Valiant" Who are the conquering heroes? Fail! Fail! U. Michigan You must be second best Mice from the Wolverine State Cats have decided your fate Fail! Fail! U. Michigan The armpit of the west From: mark.mitchell@gtri.gatech.edu (Mark A. Mitchell) Top Ten Lyrics to Michigan Fight Song: 10. Fail! Fail! We Missed-Again! Fail! To the second-rate finishers! Fail! The return diminishers! Fail! Fail! To Michigan! We always flunk the test! Fail! But remember our cheer: Fail! But just WAIT 'TIL NEXT YEAR! Fail! Fail! We Missed-Again! Forever second best! 9. Help! Help! For Michigan! Help! For the big game losers! Help! For the choke excusers! Help! Help! For Michigan, Aid is needed here! Help! For the behind-laggers! Help! The MNC gaggers! Help! Help! For Michigan, But WAIT UNTIL NEXT YEAR! 8. Hurl! Hurl! To Sing Again! Hurl! To this wretched fight song! Hurl! While the hounds bark along! Hurl! Hurl! This fight song ****s! Vomit and spew! Hurl! At this putrid show tune! Hurl! May the song please end soon! Hurl! Hurl! Our fight song ****s! We barf in Maize and Blue! 7. Tie! Tie! With Sissy-men! Tie! With the non-deciders! Tie! With the draw abiders! Tie! Tie! With Sissy-men! Chokers and goats! Tie! With the even-Stephens! Tie! With the no-win heathens! Tie! Tie! With Sissy-men! Grasping at their throats! 6. Hail! Hail! To Michigan! Hail! To the victors valiant! Hail! To the conquering heroes! Hail! Hail! To Michigan! Leaders and best! Hail! To the victors valiant! Hail! To the conquering heroes! Hail! Hail! To Michigan! Champions of the West! 5. Hell, hell, two Missed-again, Hell, two thee victuals valid! Hell, two thee concrete zeroes! Hell, hell, two Missed-again, Ladies hand beasts! Hell, two thee victims violent! Hell, two thee concurrent egos! Hell, hell, two Missed-again, Chomping off thee Worst! 4. Haul! Haul! To Michigan! Haul! In your huddled masses! Haul! In the lazy ***es! Haul! Them All! To Michigan! Human refuse bin! Haul! In the hopeless losers! Haul! In the crap school choosers! Haul! Them All! To Michigan! Where they will fit right in! 3. Pale! Pale! Comparison! Pale! Up against Notre Dame! Pale! When compared to that name! Pale! Pale! Comparison! Nineteen-forty-eight! Pale! UM cannot compare! Pale! To their Irish nightmare! Pale! Pale! Comparison! Eight MNC's to date! 2. Nail! Nail! In Michigan! Nail! In the coffin, that is! Nail! In the second-rate status! Nail! Nail! In Michigan! As they whine and pout! Nail! The final one is Penn State! Nail! Ignominious fate! Nail! Nail! In Michigan! They'll never get back out! 1. Wait! Wait! Until next year! Wait! Oh, just wait 'til next year! Wait! We will be right back here! Wait! Wait! For Michigan! En francais: deja vu! Wait! It is quite apparent! Wait! Things will all be different! Wait! Wait! Until next year! We'll Finish Number Two! MICHIGAN STATE 1. Green and white what a ****y shight, Time to Play the Spartans, What a poor excuse for Football, Bolier easy win, Rah, Rah, Rah, ***s are prancing in East Lansing, Oh what a ****y sight, **** You M.S.U., Boliers going to win again. 2. M.S.U. what did you do To deserve this fight song? We don't mean to rub it in But what the hell is Spartan Vim? You won't want to watch this game And witness your team's demise SMASH! BANG! HURT MAIM KILL! Cats will cut you down to size! THE MINNESOTA MOUSER (tune of Gopher fight song) Gopher meatballs, gopher fondue: Minnesota Gophers are good for NU. Gopher snacks, on crackers or toast: Anytime the day or night, Wrap one up and take a bite, Let's have a Gopher roast !!! UNIVERSITY OF NEBRASKA One Tinhorn Doctor [Mark Mitchell, 1996] (tune of "One Tin Soldier" a.k.a. "The Theme from Billy Jack") Go ahead and beat your girlfriend, Go ahead and wield a gun, If you do it in the name of Huskers, It'll never bother dear old Tom, And on the bloody Sunday after ... Dr. Tom will watch some film. Go ahead and rape your sister, Go ahead and kill your pop, If you can run a 4.0 40, Dr. Tom is gonna sign you up, And on the bloody Sunday after ... Husker fans will cheer and shout. UNIVERSITY OF NORTH CAROLINA Way beyond the Durham ditches, there's a place like hell, Where twenty thousand sons of bitches call it Chapel Hill. So, piss on Carolina 'lina Piss on Carolina 'lina Piss on Carolina 'lina Go to hell State! Oh, they're bastards born, and they're bastards bred, And when they die, they'll be bastards dead. So, piss on Carolina 'lina Piss on Carolina 'lina Piss on Carolina 'lina Go to hell State! (or Duke) NORTHWESTERN UNIVERSITY **** U Northwestern You guys really **** Every time you touch the ball, You really **** it up! NOTRE DAME 1. Spuds, corned beef, cabbage and stew Catholics are you and dumb Irish, tew Irish luck won't win this game School where the hunchback got its name Your team is little green ugly squirts Leprechaun blood will drip phrom our shirts Though you pray old Notre Dame Northwestern will win the game GO CATS! 2.1 Beers, beers for old Notre Dame Bring on the cocktails, we want champagne Send the freshmen out for gin, Don't let a sober sophomore in. We never stagger, we never fall, We sober up on wood alcohol, All the loyal faculty lie drunk on the bar room floor! 2.2 Beer, beer for old Notre Dame. Bring on the whiskey, bring on the dames! We drink wine or beer or gin Don't let a sober person in! We never stumble, we never fall. We sober up on wood alcohol. As our loyal sons go marching Back to the bar for more! 3. Ara is gone, and Dan was Devine but Robinson will kick Holtz' behind! When the Irish take the field, Their blood runs cold and they get killed. Their golden dome is made out of brass Their marching band just sits on its *** And the leprechaun is queer In heaven there is no beer. In heaven there is no beer That's why we drink it here And when we're gone from here All our friends will be drinking all our beer (Alternate: In heaven there is no pot That's why we smoke it in the land of zot (hey, the guy who wrote this And when alive we're not was stoned) all our friends will be smoking all our pot. OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY 1. Warn the world, Ohio State is bringing Woody Hayes When he sees a camera he will shove it in your face (hey hey hey!) That's how Woody shows us his class He should have one shoved up his ***! Hail! hail! to Michigan That's the team that should be here now. 2. Hail to Ohio State for firing what's-his-name, You think you can win now but we'll beat you just the same -- thinks he's got so much class, What'll he think when he's on his ***? Hail, hail to Michigan Don't you wish you could beat them now "Across the Field", written in 1999 by a Penn Stater We're gonna kick your *** across the field until your ****s turn blue We're gonna make you **** John Cooper's {insert current coach's) **** until he shoots his goo, eww eww Ohio girls are ugly and fat I would rather eat out a rat **** YOU, OHIO STATE! YOU'RE A KNOW-NOTHING PARTY SCHOOL! UNIVERSITY OF OKLAHOMA 1. Garry Gibbs got his *** torn By a raging Texas Longhorn And on Sunday, at his liesure ****s his Grandpa to a siezure Roarin 'cross the prarie Where the mothers come from dairy And the fathers **** the cattle And the offspring join the Banned **** little chickens **** little piggies **** little puppies **** off ducks Eat my *** out with a fork ****ing ***************s, YA'LL ****! 2. Sung to the tune of Boomer Sooner. Bite My *** Bite My *** Bite My *** Bite My *** (Repeat 1x) Bite, Bite, Nibble, Chew, You can bite my *** in two, Sonners can bite my ***! OKLAHOMA STATE UNIVERSITY 1. Eat me, Lick Me Ride Me Cowboy, You ****ing ***s Spread my butt cheeks Ride me Cowboy, You ****ing ***s You have no dicks Ride me Cowboy, You ****ing ***s You all eat **** And you all **** (coaches name) **** 2. Hide, hide, hide, hide, Hide now, Cowboys, Get off the field; Fall! Fall! Fall! Fall! Fall down Cowboys, You always yield. Lose, lose, lose, lose, Lose now, Cowboys, You always do; You won Because we know that OSU --****S! UNIVERSITY OF OREGON 1. Oregon my Alma Mater Where the men of Iron are found In the bushes with the coeds Making Love upon the ground This goes on 'till early morning When the cops break up the fun There'll be a military wedding For the Sons of Oregon -- then the break strain duh-da da-dum dum dum Quack Quack Quack duh-da da-dum dum dum Quack Quack Quack duh-da da-dum dum Quack duh-da da-dum dum Quack dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum Quack Quack Oregon my Alma Mater Home of the spastic duck Where the women all run naked And the men to weak to **** When you're old and grey and worn out and a syphaletic wreck May your spine fall out your ******* and break your ****ing neck 2. Oregon our alma matter, Where the men of steel are found, In the bushes, With the co-eds, Making love upon the ground. This goes on 'til early morning, When the cops break up the fun. There'll be a military wedding, For the sons of Oregon. OR(nastier version) Oregon our alma matter, Were the men of steel are found, In the bushes, With their right hands, Jacking off upon the ground. This goes on 'til early moring, When they all lap up the ***. They'll be a high protien breakfast, for the sons of Oregon Oregon, our alma mater Where the men of iron are found In the bushes with the coeds Making love upon the ground This goes on 'til early morning When the cops break up the fun There'll be a military wedding For the sons of Oregon OREGON STATE UNIVERSITY 1. O. S. U., our pants are off to you, Bottom Ten Football, academics, too! The rest referred to specific OSU basketball players and is 12 years out of date. Any Ducks out there? Oh, the melody is the same as Eastern Michigan's fight song. 2. OSU our pants are off to you Beavers, Bastards, sons of bitches too We'll smoke your cigarettes We'll **** your majorettes OSU **** You Watch the team go tearing down the field Clods of horse **** hanging on their heels Hell, hell, hell, hell It's hell at OSU! PURDUE UNIVERSITY 1. (to the tune of "Home on the range") Moo, moo, moo Purdue, Where the cows roam the campus all day. Where seldom is heard, an Intelligent word. And the athletes get very high pay. moo, moo, moo Purdue, It's a school any fool can get through Where chimpanzees , can get bachelor's degrees. And the Golden Girl straight from the zoo 2. (to the tune of "Hail Purdue") Hail! Hail! to Old Purdue where big isn't always the best. Take for instance the golden girl with the 68 inch chest (flop flop flop). Never grateful, never true, you're the marching amoeba mess (**** Purdue). Take your bass drum and your twirlers and shove them up your ***, and shove them up your ***, shove them up your ***, up your ***. (***, ***, ***, ***, titties) UNIVERSITY OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA 1. This one's from the Cal Band - sung to USC's "Fight On" Fight on for old C$, Play football here, we pay the best. We buy each victory. Last week we bought the referee. No need to enroll, Education's never our goal, Play here. Fight on for old $c, The halfback draws a salary. The ends have all been fired. They've been no good since they were hired. No need to enroll, Education's never our goal, Play here. 2. THE ESTHER SONG [This is the song that got the [usc] band in big-time trouble (and UCLA frat, too, I might mention). Apparently the UCLA version was "Lupe the Mexican Whore", so besides being sexist and disgusting, it was also racist. :-( ] Down in **** valley where red rivers flow Where *****mongers flourish and ********ers grow There I met Esther, the girl I adore... She's my hot-****ing ****-****ing Trojan Band *****. Oh Esther began at the young age of eight While swinging upon the old garden gate The crossbar went down and the upright went in... And Esther began her long life of sin. (chorus) She'll blow you, she'll **** you, she'll gnaw on your ***s, She'll wrap her legs 'round you and squeeze out your guts, She'll wrap her legs 'round you 'til you scream for more! She's my hot-****ing ****-****ing Trojan Band *****. Now Esther is dead and she lies in her tomb While maggots and cockroaches crawl in her womb Oh Esther, oh Esther, oh why did you die? I'd rather eat Esther than blueberry pie. (repeat chorus) 3. Oh, the freshmen at $C get no tail, (repeat) So to satisfy their yen, they go out with Cal State men, Oh, the freshmen at $C get no tail. Oh the sophomores at $C get no tail, (repeat) So half the freshmen class Has to take it up the ***. Oh, the sophomores at $C get no tail. Oh, the juniors at $C get no tail, (repeat) After 3 years of frustration, They resort to masturbation. Oh, the juniors at $C get no tail. Oh, the seniors at $C THEY get tail! (repeat) But after 4 years with the guys They can hardly get a rise. Oh, the seniors at $C get no tail. Oh, the women at $C get no tail, (repeat) And you know the reason why Is 'cause they're dry between the thighs, Oh, the women at $C get no tail. Oh, the dean at $C gets no tail, (repeat) After 47 years, He is used to all those queers. Oh, the dean at $C gets no tail Oh, the horse at $C has no tail (repeat) After walking through the halls He is lucky to have ****s. Oh, the horse at $C has no tail. STANFORD UNIVERSITY 1. Always willing to poke fun at itself, here is the Stanford Band's alternate lyrics for "Come Join the Band." Come bite the gland Caress the organ with your hand Pull on your **** Until it gets hard as a rock Let it arise Until it stares you in the eyes Beat it, stroke it Pump it, stoke it Hold it tight until the fire dies 2.1 To the tune of "MacNamara's Band" (the UCLA version) Oh, the Cardinals be damned, The Cardinals be damned, The Cardinals be damned, my boys, The Cardinals be damned, If you're a Stanford Son of a Bitch who won't bow to the Blue and Gold, Then you can pucker up your rosy lips and kiss the Bear's *******! Here's one of the verses: Oh, I'm a ***** from Stanford I'll **** for fifty cents. I'll lay my *** upon the grass And my pants upon the fence. I'll lick your slimy penis I'll **** your **** for free But climb on my chest you son of a bitch If you're from USC! 2.2 (the USC version) Oh I wish I had a prick of steel and balls made of brass I'd find a marble statue and ram it up its *** And breed a race of giants to rule throughout the land And sing another chorus of Cardinals be damned. Oh, the Cardinals be damned, The Cardinals be damned, The Cardinals be damned, my boys, The Cardinals be damned, If any Stanford son of a bitch Doesn't like the Trojan Brass He can pucker up his rosy lips And kiss my Trojan *** TENNESSEE 1. Oh, rotten crouch You'll always be A piece of **** to me **** you rocky top Go to hell Tennessee!! 2. O' Rocky Top, you'll never mean One damn thing to meeeeeeeeee, I HATE ROCKY TOP, GO TO HELL TENNESSEE. TEXAS 1. Texas bites, Texas bites Texas jump up and bite my ***! B-I-T-E-*-*-* Texas jump up and bite my ***! 2. "THE NOSE OF OKLAHOMA" This is a corruption of the University of Texas song "Eyes of Texas," sung to the tune of "I've Been Workin' on the Railroad." The Nose of Oklahoma smells you All the live long day! The Nose of Oklahoma smells you Why don't you just go away? Always bragging of your greatness, Shooting off your mouth, The Nose of Oklahoma smells you, Our neighbors to the south! [another version] The Nose of Oklahoma smells you All the live long day! The Nose of Oklahoma smells you Why don't you just go away? All the people down in Austin Think that they've got class, But all the people up in Norman Say tEXAS BITE MY @$$! TEXAS A&M 1. Here is a parody commonly used by members of the SWC to parody Texas A&M: A&M's school song has a part that sounds like the Mickey Mouse Club Song and it is customary that the opposing fans yell out during this portion of the song M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E. 2. "AGGIE WAR HYMN" We are the members of the Kiddie Corps We go down the field marching eight to four If we do a show you think you've seen before Chances are you have 'cause we don't do anymore! 3. Another (the best) Aggie War Hymn parody lyrics I learned this from Alpha Phi Omega Fraternity Alpha Rho Chapter (UT Austin). The music is at: http://www.rtis.com/reg/bcs/org/aggieband/sounds/war_hymn.mp3 We are a bunch of country hicks, We are a bunch of country hicks. We really are a bunch of country hicks, We feel at home when we are in the sticks, We thunk we are fairly good at farmin' We sure ain't no good at thut there book larning' They call our school a university, It's a lot more like a clink, clinkity clink. Attending it sure is an adversity. Enough to make you want to take a little drink, Take a little drink. Maybe take a great big drink. Fish really envy all those Senior coots, They get to wear them protective boots. Slick spots you step on in the barnyard soil, Are very, very, very seldom oil. They tell us the flies of Texas are upon us, Our campus barnyard really stinks, stinks like heck! Conditions there are very odorous. Enough to make you want to take a little drink, Take a little drink. Maybe take two great big drinks. We'll save our money, put it in a soil bank, We'll now forget the words [-pause-] We'll save our money, put it in a soil bank, We'll now forget the words [-pause-] It is a fer piece, down to the outhouse, If it is too far, stop out at the smokehouse. Tra la la, la la la la la. Tra la la, la la la la la. Tra la la, la la la la Latrine. It is a fer piece, down to the outhouse, If it is too far, stop out at the smokehouse. Uncle Sam, he wants to see us eat. Hey! We'll get paid if we don't raise any wheat. Hey! Learning how to raise no crops at all, Is how the Texas Aggies have a ball. Uncle Sam, he wants to see us eat. Hey! We'll get paid if we don't raise any wheat. Hey! Learning how to raise no crops at all, Is how the Texas Aggies have a ball. and another version: We are a bunch of country hicks, We are a bunch of country hicks. We really are a bunch of country hicks, We feel at home when we are in the sticks, 'Though we are fairly good at farmin' We surely ain't so good at thut book larning' They call our school a university, It is a lot more like a clink, clinkity clink. Attending it is sheer adversity. Enough to make you want to take a little drink, Take a little drink. Maybe take a great big drink. Fish really envy all them Senior coots, They get to wear them big pertective boots. Slick spots you step on in the barnyard soil, Are very, very, very seldom oil. They tell us the flies of Texas are upon us, Our campus barnyard really stinks, stinks like heck! Conditions here are really onerous. (William Roddy note: I think "very odorous" is better) Enough to make you want to take a little drink, Take a little drink. Maybe take two great big drinks. We'll save our money, put it in a soil bank, We'll now forget the words [-pause-] We'll save our money, put it in a soil bank, We'll now forget the words [-pause-] It is a fer piece, down to the outhouse, If it is too fer, stop out at the smokehouse. Tra la la, la la la la la. Tra la la, la la la la la. Tra la la, la la la la Latrine. It is a fer piece, down to the outhouse, If it is too fer, stop out at the smokehouse. Uncle Sam, he wants to see us eat. Hey! We'll get paid if we don't raise no wheat. Hey! Learning how to raise no crops at all, Is how the Texas Aggies have a ball. Uncle Sam, he wants to see us eat. Hey! We'll get paid if we don't raise no wheat. Hey! Learning how to raise no crops at all, Is how the Texas Aggies have a ball. UNIVERSITY OF WISCONSIN 1a. Oh Wisconsin, poor Wisconsin Party school of fame You would enjoy academics But you lack the brain LET'S GO DRINK! Oh Wisconsin, poor Wisconsin Drink yourselves insane Drink for your Badgers Will get trashed this game. 1b. On Wisconsin! On Wisconsin! Bounce right off that line. Run the ball three times a series, Punt on fourth and nine. On Wisconsin! On Wisconsin! Every week's the same. Drink, fellows, drink, drink, drink, Forget this game. 2. Cheese Wisconsin, cheese Wisconsin All you eat is cheese Kraft Velveeta Mozzarella Pass the Gouda please (CHEESE CURDS NOW!) This WWW site would like to thank the following for their upload: Russel S. Wilkinson H. Alan Schup carroln AT clemson DOT edu William Roddy bill4net AT yahoo DOT com